Five Things I Learned in Milwaukee Last Week

  1. According to the bartender at Murphy’s on the Marquette campus, Jeffrey Dahmer was quite the clever psychopath. I guess the last of his victims escaped, and went running naked down the street babbling incoherently. He had been injected with some kind of poison. The cops were called. Dahmer, in his psychotic brilliance, disrobed and ran outside naked, too. Told the police it was a misunderstanding, a lover’s spat. Cops left. Guy was murdered. But the situation was weird enough to warrant a follow up investigation.
  2. Upon hearing that we were going to a show at The Rave, several people told us the lowest level of the Rave/Eagles Ballroom used to be a men’s spa with pool. And it’s haunted.
  3. Monroe, Wisconsin is the only place in the U.S. to make Limburger cheese.
  4. I was chatting* with a woman in line ahead of me who was waiting for her daughter to have her picture taken with the band member. She was probably about my age (?) and from Wisconsin. In my Cheap Trick t-shirt and Rockford Icehogs hoodie, I’m an Illinoisan all the way. This woman said to me, “Are you familiar with F-I-B? I saw it on the internet.” (So, now I’m thinking maybe she’s older than I am.) “Fib?” I asked. “Yes,” she replied, “it stands for bad word, Illinois, bad word.” I looked at her and said, “Excuse me?” and she repeated that she’d seen it on the internet. I told her that I wasn’t surprised, everything is on the internet, but I was a little concerned with the sites she was frequenting. Later, when I saw her at The Struts merch table, I said, “Hey F-W-B! What’s up?” And I thought she was going to cry. I totally offended her! What I learned is that Wisconsinites can dish it out, but they can’t take it.
  5. Or maybe I learned that I am an F-I-B.


*We were talking about the band, the venue, the set. I offered to take the picture so she could pose with her twenty-ish daughter. She’s the one that told me about Limburger. She said that if you can tolerate the smell, it makes the best grilled cheese sandwich. So when she wondered if I was familiar with F-I-B, it kind of took me by surprise. Perhaps she was informing me in a conversational way. Maybe she was shocked and sharing in my defense.
Or maybe she’s way more hip and cool than I gave her credit for and she knew F-W-B meant Friends With Benefits and she thought I was questioning her sexuality/fidelity. In which case, I apologize. It is a thing, though. I saw it on the internet.










About Mary Fran Says

I am an artist, crafter, designer and writer. I enjoy working with mixed media-- applying visual and tactile manipulations to telling a story. Not a lot of market for that, though, :), so I'm focusing on short story submissions and novel completions. Yes, plural. Lots of beginnings, too many ideas, not enough focus.
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