Bad People make the Best Stories

I love that title, don’t you?

Full disclosure, they’re probably not the best stories, and honestly, there are certainly worse people. But it’s catchy and relatable. I’m thinking this could be a series.

Entry 1:
I was at the store buying liquor. All right, it was Wal-Mart and it was a case of Miller Lite. They card now. EVERYONE. I must show ID. I can’t just provide an obviously older than 21 birth date, but must instead dig my driver’s license out and hand it over. At Wal-Mart. For a case of Miller Lite.

The clerk takes my ID, looks at the photo, looks up at me, returns to the photo, then back up to me again and says, “I see you let your hair go.”

Yes, folks, four years ago when I had my last DL picture taken, I had brown hair.
I no longer have brown hair.

I say, “Yeah, I got tired of keeping up with the roots. Too much time, too much money.”

She hands me back my ID and says, “I’m not ready to look that old.”


Trying to make light of this conversation, I replied with, “I’m a grandma now, so it’s cool.”

She told me she wasn’t a grandma and even if she were, she’s not sure she’d advertise.

Any comments on my DL stated weight, lady?
For real, though, wow.

There was more to our exchange. She shared how she was 55 (older than I am) and her salon time is her therapy (I don’t get that, but I respect it), and also how her stylist told her she could NEVER go gray (of course the lady you pay to color your hair told you that, duh) because her hair would be pure white! I told her I thought that would look stunning on her.

Then, two weeks later, I happened to catch a glimpse of that same clerk from behind. Solid inch and a half of outgrowth. Roots.

I did not comment. (I tell you instead, lol.)

THAT is exactly why I don’t bother with the coloring anymore. The upkeep!
I’ve gone natural. It happens to be gray.
But you know what?
I don’t hate it.

It’s not for everybody. I get it. That’s cool.
Also, can we stop saying, “Grandma” like it’s an insult?

AND, an addendum to this story:
I’m at the Palazzo in Vegas and one of the high-end salon peddlers stopped me and asked if my color was natural or dyed. She said it’s gorgeous and she has clients–young ones–that pay big bucks for this color. And extra for my “highlights”!

Why, thank you.

Maybe Gracious People make the Greatest Stories?


About Mary Fran Says

I am an artist, crafter, designer and writer. I enjoy working with mixed media-- applying visual and tactile manipulations to telling a story. Not a lot of market for that, though, :), so I'm focusing on short story submissions and novel completions. Yes, plural. Lots of beginnings, too many ideas, not enough focus.
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4 Responses to Bad People make the Best Stories

  1. renobarb says:

    More poser to you! I am not ready to accept the full gray yet. I had a slightly different set of anecdotes to share. First story: my hair stylist said That when I am ready, she would love to help me transition to all gray. She also mentioned that the younger women are paying top dollar for the professional gray color jobs. (I pointed out that those women are doing it ironically.) Second anecdote: I am at CVS buying my box of hair color. The clerk has hair that is the perfect blend of gray tones. As she rings up my purchase she says “you’re going to feel so liberated when you finally give up coloring the gray. I’m never coloring my hair again.” Isn’t it lovely to have choices?

  2. I did the transitional blonde highlighting to blend the natural growth with the last of my color. It really helped with the obvious line, lol. I admit, sometimes I miss the brunette and it did take a while of plucking light colored hairs off my clothes before I realized they were mine! Now, I honestly don’t even think about it–until someone else mentions my hair color!

  3. Pingback: Hi, Gene! Bye, Gene! | Mary Lamphere

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