Today’s blog is a glimpse into how my word-brain works. Please note that if you, too, were in 7th grade in 1979, you are probably of the generation that was taught some of the following language is offensive. Consider yourself warned.

I remember being in the 7th grade and coming home from school one day to ask my step-mom what the word “whore” meant. Obviously from the context in which it had been used at my junior high, I garnered that it was a “bad” word, but I didn’t know how bad.

I was told it was an unsavory name for a loose woman and that I should never say it.

The other day, I caught myself in defense of whores.

Discussing a terribly unpleasant person, I referenced her as a whore, then immediately amended, no, that’s offensive to whores.

Upon further consideration, I discovered that what I meant was she is a HORrible person. So, yeah, a hor.

I thought to myself, how can we differentiate between a slutty person and a horrible one?
Since I enjoy word play, this was a fun mental task.

First I thought “horper” for horrible person.
(How do you make a whore purr? Pet her.)
More than one? Horpers.
(Where she keeps her lube and condoms.)
So, um, no.

Then I made it a group slang, as in horrible people, and came up with “horpee”.
(What she tests for STDs after her whore purse is empty.)
But STDs and horpees reminded me of herpes. And hair piece.

I may not be making progress but I sure am having fun.

It also occurred to me that hor is not gender specific.
Men can be horrible people, too.

Horrible Person that’s female = Horf
Horrible Person that’s male = Horm
Naw.

I don’t know how the Bard did it, coming up with new words is hard!

After much contemplation, I really think the simplicity of plain old homonymous “hor” is the best. So, ladies and gentle readers, feel free to adopt this new term into your vocabulary. Give it a try: “Oh my god! She is such a hor!” Yeah, that works.

Ideally, we wouldn’t need another term, we need less shitty people.

SHIPEE?!
Like I said, we don’t need more words, but I’d be a stuper to think we’ll ever have less hors.

Honestly, this is the most fun I’ve ever had discussing horrible people.

So, yeah, if this blog isn’t proof that I suffer from UOCD
(useless obsessive compulsive disorder)
then I don’t know what is.