It’s hard to be a Bears fan.

(It occurred to me to just stop there. That would be my entire Monday blog.
I mean, really, what more is there to say?)

But no—I shall blog on!

I hope you’ll “bear” with me as I toss out a crazy idea that just might keep folks on the fan wagon.
I already told you it’s a crazy idea so no balking allowed when you read it…

If the Bears can’t be good, maybe they can be really really bad. We already know they can be bad, we’ve seen that, but I challenge them to up the bad-ante.
Think about it—trick plays and gimmicks, fancy footwork and hip shakes, photo ops and sound bites. If we’re going to be bad, be the best at being bad.

Like Monica.

Or better yet, purely for entertainment purposes.

You blame the quarterback? Let the Black Unicorn step in. We’ll either figure Cutler ain’t so bad or we’ll realize how hard that job is. Either way, I think we’ll be entertained.
Gould has been great for a really long time, maybe this is the season we start test driving new kickers beginning with players we already have. Might piss off some fantasy footballers, but hey, I bet they’ll be tuning in to watch the antics. There’ll be a new category for Vegas odds, “WTF Bears”. Just imagine the handicap, lol. Let the betting begin.

Without Peppers to toast to, we’ve been toasting to penalties. Wow, that’s a dedicated toasters game this season. So make it a thing—flag on the play, cups in the air, Cheers!

The benchmark by which I now measure “bad” is a movie called, The Perfect Host.

It looks like a real movie. It stars David Hyde Pierce, a real actor. It’s one of those things that’s SO BAD you want everyone you know to watch it. And then you want to discuss how bad it was—and how much you love it.

If the Bears can’t be the best, I want them to be the best at being bad. I want them to be The Perfect Host of football.

I realize it’s early in the season, we’re only 2-3, with many opportunities for victory ahead. I’m just putting it out there… hey, Bears, if you feel the game getting away from you, own it. Be the bad I know you can be.