I became a Gramma for the first time Tuesday, June 17*, 2014 at 9:23 pm.

The details: Pitocin was introduced about 7 am, an epidural was given as soon as possible, :). At 7 pm she was only 50% effaced and the baby was at -2. They discussed adding her to the c-section rotation (she’d have been third in line, gone in about 11:30 pm). She dozed off… at 9 pm the nurse checked her and—I swear both mommy and daddy say– the nurse said, “Oh shit, here he comes.” A couple of pushes and here he was.

Benjamin Lamphere Lee Peregrin Frazer was 7 lb 2 oz and 19.75 inches. And perfect.

Except for those nasty blood sugar levels. They refused to regulate or be high enough and Ben was hooked up to an IV and heel-pricked for testing every 2-3 hours. For a week. His heels are not that big. And then on day 7, *boom* his numbers matched everything else, perfect.

He’s home now and mommy and daddy are acclimating just fine.

Everyone keeps asking me how it feels to be a Grandma. The truth is, I don’t know yet… first of all, he doesn’t DO anything. Every time I have visited, he sleeps. Secondly, and this is odd to me– because I raised my kids to be able to live without me. And I did a good job. They are both responsible, independent, employed and married. Now one of them is a parent. And what’s odd is that suddenly I feel very maternal. Towards my daughter.
It’s weird when your baby has a baby.

Sure, holding the newborn is wonderful and he’s so stinkin’ cute I can’t stand it. He’s so TINY! And just two short weeks ago, he was INSIDE her. (He doesn’t seem that tiny!) A little bit I feel responsible for this guy, I mean, he wouldn’t be here if I hadn’t co-created his mother.

But when I visit, I want to hug my daughter. I want to do stuff for her and get stuff for her and be there for her. I want to baby her. After years of being so proud of the adult she’s become, I’m overwhelmed with maternal yearnings.

I’m so happy for her and her husband, I have no doubt they will be amazing parents. They are fortunate to have each other (and summers off ain’t bad, either).
A lucky baby Benjamin is.

I’m sure my yearnings will curb soon enough. Nicole will continue being a capable, responsible grown-up and new mommy.  Although I look forward to being the best Gramma I can be, I now realize how powerful being a momma is.

Maybe being a proud momma is the first step to be being an awesome Gramma…
In that case, how does it feel to be a Grandma? Wonderful.

(lookit all that hair! baby mullet)

*Happy (belated) Birthday, Aunt Christina!