I can frequently be heard making the comment, “I don’t know how you people do it.”

Not to be accused of being any kind of –ist, let me clarify that this could reference anybody who isn’t me.

For instance, the “you people” I could be talking about could be men and the “it,” well, you know. Elaine Benes said it best when she remarked, “I don’t know how you guys walk around with those things.” Now maybe it’s because I don’t have one that I find them so fascinating, but I can’t help but think that if I had one I would be touching it all the time. All. The. Time.

Screamo music enthusiasts could earn a “you people” title and their non-bleeding ears a testimony to “it.”

“You people” could also reference the employed and the “it” a job. I can’t imagine having to begin my day at 6 a.m. or *gasp* even earlier. Honestly, I think any time before 6 a.m. is still LAST NIGHT.

Another group of “you people” might be anyone with more than two children. I have two kids, a boy and a girl, nothing left to have. Two parents, two hands, two kids! That makes sense to me. When the kids outnumber the parents—and their collective hands, I can’t help but think about “it,” the shopping, cooking, scheduling, practices, performances, sleepovers, sicknesses, etc, etc, etc…and I don’t know how you do it!

I might be referring to dieters when I say, “you people,” and the “it” might be not eating junk food. If I am what I eat, I’m obviously sweet, rich, a little salty, and some days I might leave an orange-y slick on your fingertips.

I also don’t know how “you people,” public speakers, do “it,” speak publicly. Comfortably. Without knocking knees, stomach cramps, caterpillar tongue and the constant fear of stupidity falling out of your mouth.

Another frequent “you people” are neat freaks and their “it” would be a spotless home. I just don’t know how you do it. No, really, I don’t know how you do it, please show me!

Yes, I may wonder about YOU PEOPLE, but the bottom line is I respect the heck out of you for whatever IT is that you’re doing.

I obviously can’t.