As I’m sure you know by now, my daughter is getting married on Friday, July 19.
What you may not know, however, is that my son got married Friday, June 7.
Does this news surprise you?
Join the club!
I’m not just a member, I’m the Mother of the Groom!
My daughter recently celebrated her one year engagement anniversary, taking the more traditional route. My son was engaged for about fifteen minutes, rather unconventional.
It’s no secret that I don’t like weddings. Too much stress and expense and who needs to start their new life together under the weight of all that?
But I’m not going to try and sell you on that school of thought, so please keep reading. Instead, I’d like to share a quick story and how it’s affected—changed!— my attitude about weddings…
Zach shows up at my house at 9 am Friday and asks if we’re ready to go.
Dave is on his way out the door for work and I haven’t showered.
To the courthouse, I’m getting married. (he places the ring boxes on the counter)
No, you’re not.
Yes, I am.
You can’t– it doesn’t– fine, I’m taking a shower.
In the twenty minutes it takes me to get ready, I’m expecting Dave to talk him through this impulsive decision. He didn’t even try.
He is 24, she is 25, they have been together for over nine years, living together for four…
No one is surprised they’re getting married… but, but, but…!
We go to the courthouse (where Christina works).
We head upstairs to her office; Zach walks in, gets down on one knee and proposes.
Just like that.
Of course she says yes, the office crowd goes wild– Congratulations! You’re engaged!
Zach stands up, hugs her, kisses her, turns to the crowd and says, No, I didn’t buy an engagement ring, I bought a wedding ring. I’m hoping we can do this right now.
WHAT?! HUH?! (this is them, he’d already told us he was getting married today, right?)
They swing into action.
We head over to the building where you apply for the marriage license.
We were gone 15 minutes.
When we return, her co-workers have flowers and a cake!
At 10:15, Christina enters the new arboretum (joining the old courthouse with the new addition) and there are at least forty people lined up waiting to witness her wedding.
They repeat their vows, exchange their rings (which he’d bought the day before), and kiss to make it official.
It was perfect for them.
Now most would think this story has everything I need for a wedding:
1) two people in love and 2) a commitment.
And you’d be correct…
What I’m realizing through this whirlwind escapade is that people want to celebrate. They wish they had witnessed. They’re offering to throw showers and help plan receptions. They’re sorry they weren’t there.
You mean you’re not coming to Nicole’s wedding because we’re making you? Social protocol is not putting a metaphorical gun to your head? You want to partake?! You want to dress up and buy a gift and potentially weep as they exchange their vows and begin their life together? Huh.
So, we’re being proactive with all this planning? We’re saving you the trouble of doing it yourself because you would if we weren’t?
This realization pleases me immensely.
Bring on the wedding plans!
Christina’s wedding was perfect for her.
And Nicole’s wedding will be perfect for her.
W’s are for Win-win!
Post Script: Happy Birthday, Mrs. Lamphere!